“10) We have difficulty with executive functioning. The way we process the world is different. Tasks that others take for granted, can cause us extreme hardship. Learning to drive a car, to tuck in the sheets of a bed, to even round the corner of a hallway, can be troublesome. Our spatial awareness and depth-awareness seems off. Some will never drive on a freeway, never parallel park, and/or never drive. Others will panic following directions while driving. New places offer their own set of challenges. Elevators, turning on and off faucets, unlocking doors, finding our car in a parking lot, (even our keys in our purse), and managing computers, electronic devices, or anything that requires a reasonable amount of steps, dexterity, or know-how can rouse in us a sense of panic. While we might be grand organizers, as organizing brings us a sense of comfort, the thought of repairing, fixing, or locating something causes distress. Doing the bills, cleaning the house, sorting through school papers, scheduling appointments, keeping track of times on the calendar, and preparing for a party can cause anxiety. Tasks may be avoided. Cleaning may seem insurmountable. Where to begin? How long should I do something? Is this the right way? Are all questions that might come to mind. Sometimes we step outside of ourselves and imagine a stranger entering our home, and question what they would do if they were in our shoes. We reach out to others’ rules of what is right, even in isolation, even to do the simplest of things. Sometimes we reorganize in an attempt to make things right or to make things easier. Only life doesn’t seem to get easier. Some of us are affected in the way we calculate numbers or in reading. We may have dyslexia or other learning disabilities. We may solve problems and sort out situations much differently than most others. We like to categorize in our mind and find patterns, and when ideas don’t fit, we don’t know where to put them. Putting on shoes, zipping or buttoning clothes, carrying or packing groceries, all of these actions can pose trouble. We might leave the house with mismatched socks, our shirt buttoned incorrectly, and our sweater inside out. We find the simple act of going grocery shopping hard: getting dressed, making a list, leaving the house, driving to the store, and choosing objects on the shelves is overwhelming.”
Again, adding anything to Sam Croft’s brilliant detailing of the incredible stress caused to individuals with (HF)Autism and Asperger’s by what “others take for granted”, is hardly possible.
Being blessed/cursed with an intellect way beyond average and having stopped apologising about it especially to neurotypicals who think that being smart means wearing certain (otherwise stupidly uncomfortable) clothes, I decided to use my neurobiological compulsion for honesty, for openly appreciating or criticising what’s worth my time and effort…
Well, in Samantha Croft’s case, I hope to have repeatedly made myself loudly clear about how pleased I am to take a bow as many times I read The Ten Traits, considering it a proper diamond in the hard nutshell of understanding the unique individuality of Asperger’s, wholeheartedly recommending it to anyone having started to understand first of all their own, or their loved ones’ neurodivergence.
What’s left for me to write? Some of my own experience, following Sam’s lead.
-“to […] round the corner of a hallway” – Blessed art thou, who don’t need to go around the corner of a simple hallway, firstly by significantly slowing down your pace, secondly by following your path by nearly rubbing your shoulder against the wall opposite that corner, and thirdly even so, managing sometimes to bruise your corner’s side shoulder against it. And if there’s no corner, there will be an open door, the same armchair, coffee table, anything which should be somewhere else… And if there’s nothing in your way, your brain will desperately attempt to find a pattern-like structure to align itself by, in which case everything returns to square one…
-“Some will […] never parallel park” – So here’s my problem: every time I attempt to park my car between other cars, my brain gets short-circuited between using as a reference my door’s inferior window frame, the cars on each side, the cars in front/behind me, continuously disturbed by the crisscrossing pedestrians, the very annoying but vital noise of my car’s parking sensors, and on top of all my occasional, all-knowing passenger who genuinely wants to help, and for whom I’m thinking of installing a badly needed “eject seat” button…
-“We may have Dyslexia…” – and also Dyspraxia, and Dyscalculia, and Irlen Syndrome, but that doesn’t seem to exclude mastering several languages, several degrees, several musical instruments.
Is there anything else left to say?