Asperger’s, the desperately beautiful trap of my soul…

I feel again and again, like my soul is trapped in a desperately, beautiful way in this song…

According to the “world”, I live with Asperger’s; the world with which I feel like communicating the way this transcendent performance does, in a desperate attempt to make myself understood without being hurt, again and again, silently attempting to contort my hand-branches into what I can’t ever say, but I would so much want “the world” to understand…

All the small greatness of a perpetual child, condemned to never grow older than the sap flowing behind the skin-bark “the world” can see.

If I have ever had a mirrored image, it’s this…

Defiantly refusing to hate my soul’s small room, never willing to leave the silent perfection of my perfect loneliness, cleansing nevertheless every day the window meant for anyone to look through, hoping that one day someone shall notice my waving branches and the small fruit growing atop my roots…

Please, if anyone enters, sit silently on my bed and dream my thoughts together with me, touch me not beyond your eyes, as I’ve left myself nearly naked hoping you’d understand what I can’t say.

And when you leave, cover me; don’t let ageing leaves ever scratch the silent story my bare skin would dream with you tomorrow, if you might return…

I’m forever grateful to Idan Raichel, for bringing together “me”, with my “self” in this performance, so I can ‘feel’ at least sometimes, myself


13 responses to “Asperger’s, the desperately beautiful trap of my soul…

  1. That is a beautiful video, and your words give it a second more-stronger voice. I think this is my favorite post so far!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Heartbreakingly beautiful! Thanks for sharing. I think my box comes with a label which reads, “Fragile. Handle with care!” lol Forgive me if I sometimes choose to remain silence or stop explaining myself for I no longer cared to make myself understood by others. The right person will understand my silence.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m glad you liked it and appreciate it, and I perfectly understand, my box has the same labels, unfortunately keep changing them as my “friends” kept ripping them off, or got ripped off while they were trying to “help” me break out of my box…
      And yes, I am most (un)fortunately familiar with having lost any incentive to explain myself, as 99% of the time, everything I said or did, turned against me.
      That’s why I moved back to my one-box planet, even though I still need to send my hologram to work, attend family obligations, etc…

      Liked by 1 person

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