Massada…

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But who’s this blind-child of my lonely memory,
unwanted morning yet unfollowed by another?
Whose time we chew, whose banner
do we tear apart; why bother?

Alone, bewitched by what complete would mean
if empty’s so rewarding, stand I and mourn…
I’ve lost my mind, I’ve lost my senses
and lost has grown the day when I was born.

“Stand still…” I’m told, “and know…”; and show no pain,
but feel it deep by sides of heart and senses…
So much I know; and time dries bitter ever since
all verbs seem to have lost their future tenses…

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11 responses to “Massada…

  1. Rom,

    For me this poem shows the depth of vision that can come from one’s own personal “Massada”. I have read this poem many times and if I am reading it correctly then I can say it has reminded me of the bitter taste of verbs when they lose future tenses. It provokes memories of deep sadness, but I am saved from despair by the fact that I am still here to read poetry such as this.

    Thank you,

    Ron

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    • My dear Friend,

      Unknown to You, this comment is a VERY special one!
      First of all because you so well have understood through living it, the stillness of one’s hopes, when the the future as seen by one of my saviours, Leonard Cohen, is nothing else but “murder”…
      Second, because this precious sign of your presence in this common present is precisely the 100th comment I’ve been honoured with since this blog gave me back what I thought to have lost…
      I am sooooo glad it comes from someone I truly value:-)

      Thank you!

      Rom

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  2. I have been wondering where you were.
    I read a book many years ago called Masada. I am sure there are many many with that name. But I never forgot it.

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    • Oh, dear, been caught up in some Memento’s Blog, with brooms and cooking husbands in slow cookers in the attic, with red-eyed Trasylvanian Hitchcocks, a nightmare…:-)
      This poem is an older one, but still feel it…

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  3. I, too, have and still at times do experience my own personal Masada with thoughts of suicide or wishing I’d never been born. The only thing that shakes those thoughts is when I “stand still and know that He is God” and consider His love for me and everything He has helped me get through in the past.

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  4. Sometimes when we face tyranny and opression, it is our responsibility to yield and survive it, even if it would be easier to fight and die. Sometimes it is our responsibility to face evil and fight against it, even if it is suicidal to do so. Sometimes we have the right to take our own lives, even if we, in so doing, hurt the ones who love us. Masada… May reason and compassion shine.

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